The Reflector Orange High School Orange, CA
Issue Date: Monday, May 17, 2010 Issue: 7 Last Update: Monday, May 17, 2010
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Two seconds later, the man was dead. - creativecommons
What exactly are spiders? Are they simply little organisms that help reduce the pest population? No. Spiders are nature’s test of courage. Whether you are a small child or Superman himself, everyone thinks spiders are horrifying at some point in their life. Not everyone is willing to admit it though. All of those tough macho men, like Chuck Norris, will laugh whenever a spider crawls up to them, but on the inside, they are crying with fear. I will, however, willingly admit it. Spiders are some pretty freaky critters.
What is it about spiders that make them horrifying? It’s those eight eyes that dart around the room and shine in your direction. They stare into the depths of your soul, reading and daring you to make a sudden movement. It’s also their blood thirsty, pitch-black, and razor-sharp fangs, grinding back and forth in anticipation of your flesh, dripping with a venomous concoction. Their venom can burn away your flesh, making it into a slurry substance for the spider to devour. The venom can also work its way into your nerves, rendering you immobile and viciously paralyzing your heart, eventually causing cardiac arrest.
As if that isn’t enough. Spiders are not only terrifying in appearance, but in nature as well. Some spiders can launch themselves at unknowing targets, crash upon them, dig their fangs in, and inject them with their venom. Other spiders burrow underground, waiting patiently for a victim to pass by. As soon as an insect passes by, the spider shoots out of its trapdoor with lightning fast reflexes. The spider latches onto its prey and drags the poor defenseless insect into its burrow. Inside the burrow the spider feasts upon the insect.
Spiders are demonic creatures, spawned in the depths of hell by Satan himself. They are often plated with thick “armor” that makes other insects’ attacks useless. If they are defended by this evil armor, what can we humans do to defend ourselves? Surprisingly, these creatures can be stopped with a shoe, or even something as weak as a napkin or tissue. If you don’t want to risk getting near the little sucker, you can eliminate it with a simple insecticide. But crushing them yourself is much more satisfying because you know you are helping rid the world of a spider.

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